respite

it's been an interesting and frustrating two weeks.

i finally called the doctor and got back on my meds. the side effects have been brutal some days.
a week and a half ago, i was loopy. to the point that i couldn't sit still without weaving. some wonderful family  members (who i just discovered live in my ward) came and took my little girls. another friend decided that i needed to get out of the house, and took the baby and i with her to do some shopping. after that, i decided to take the meds at night, hoping to avoid the side effect during the day when i need to be able to function.
3 days ago, on sunday, my head was spinning. and it spun all day long. i couldn't move my head with any amount of speed or i felt like i was falling over. the feeling was similar to vertigo, but not quite. (i had labyrinthitis 6 years ago or so, and it wasn't even quite like that.) i spent the day reading book 8 of the work and the glory series, and trying hard to not fall over when i got up. that evening the home teachers came by and before they left they gave me a blessing. (i started getting better soon after. it was so nice. i was back to normal by bedtime.)
there's one side effect that has me reconsidering taking the meds at all though.
so far, i'm starting to feel a little more ability to get things done. i managed to get most of my errands run yesterday without having to go home because of anxiety. i'm almost to the point, i hope, that i can get on top of some of  the chores, and projects that got started but never finished.