cleaning

taylor, age 9, "cleaning takes away from play time, but it's good."

buttons

elizabeth, age 7, (yelling at her sister) "don't push my buttons!"

summer rules

i have amended some house rules for the summer, and depending on how they work out, i may even keep the changes.

the kids ask every morning, almost as soon as they wake up, if they can go find someone to play with. one of the new house rules is that the house has to be mostly clean for them to go play. specifically the front room and bedrooms. now, i'm not going to make taylor clean elizabeths room so he can go play, but his room needs to be picked up.

we discovered a trick the other day, if we put in some music, the kids will clean better, for the most part.

update

ashley's birthday was yesterday. she turned 3!

she had her well-check today. she weighs 29.4 pounds, and is about 37 inches.

it's hard to believe that my little girl isn't quite so little anymore.

borrow

playing with friends:

Elizabeth, age 7, "can i borrow your horse for a minute?"

Coltin, age 4, "no! it's a unicorn."

raining

elizabeth, age 7, "it's raining, i need to go potty, and i'm wearing flip flops!"

interesting correlation....

talking

shannon, age 4, "michael, you're talking!
uh, huh. you're doing this.
dada, do do...
(nodding head) yeah!"

michael, age 1, nods head also.

on the up!

there's a girl from my parents ward that's out here going to school. in january, i offered her a job helping me clean and declutter. i've been struggling to get much of anything done. and the actual means to pay her, haven't been there (although she told me i didn't need to pay her).

today, though, was quite the productive day. while she was here, i got the dishes done, the laundry started, and part of last week's laundry put away. while i was doing those, she entertained the kids, and helped them clean the front room. after she left, i got pancake mix and bisquick made up.

i'm hoping this will continue and i can get things done more regularly.

respite

it's been an interesting and frustrating two weeks.

i finally called the doctor and got back on my meds. the side effects have been brutal some days.
a week and a half ago, i was loopy. to the point that i couldn't sit still without weaving. some wonderful family  members (who i just discovered live in my ward) came and took my little girls. another friend decided that i needed to get out of the house, and took the baby and i with her to do some shopping. after that, i decided to take the meds at night, hoping to avoid the side effect during the day when i need to be able to function.
3 days ago, on sunday, my head was spinning. and it spun all day long. i couldn't move my head with any amount of speed or i felt like i was falling over. the feeling was similar to vertigo, but not quite. (i had labyrinthitis 6 years ago or so, and it wasn't even quite like that.) i spent the day reading book 8 of the work and the glory series, and trying hard to not fall over when i got up. that evening the home teachers came by and before they left they gave me a blessing. (i started getting better soon after. it was so nice. i was back to normal by bedtime.)
there's one side effect that has me reconsidering taking the meds at all though.
so far, i'm starting to feel a little more ability to get things done. i managed to get most of my errands run yesterday without having to go home because of anxiety. i'm almost to the point, i hope, that i can get on top of some of  the chores, and projects that got started but never finished.

adjustments

i'm struggling to make the adjustments needed to function again. i spent 5 days dealing with disconnection issues. now i'm struggling with exhaustion problems.
both problems make it hard to be a mom. i can think a little better right now, but not enough to plan ahead. dinners have been late every day this week. i didn't get laundry going yesterday like i needed to. my house is a mess, again (nothing really new there).

i have to get back on top of life somehow.

meds

when i was pregnant with michael, they wanted to put me on a new medication. the insurance wouldn't pay for it unless i had already tried all the other drugs in the family and didn't find results. so, i opted to stay off them all together. 

i made it through living with both of my mother-in-laws without any problems.

i survived taking care of a seriously ill sister-in-law without them.

i made it through postpartum without them.

i made it through a very stressful and trying court case without them.

but once the "need" to be strong was gone, i started falling.

i wasn't able to dig up enough desire to do anything other than necessities (dishes, laundry, and most meals are about all i could get done). i started getting extremely upset about little inconsequential things (cleaning supplies sprayed all over the bathroom rug, pam cooking spray all over the kitchen floor). i would raise my hands to show i was fed up, and children would cringe away.

i finally came to the conclusion that i needed to go back on them. i made a call to the doctor, we had a good chat, and he gave me a prescription.

5 days later, i'm trying to figure out if it's the right med. i can feel when it releases the medication into my body, cause part of my brain disconnects, and i start to get a little confused. it also causes some severe cottonmouth. 

since it's supposed to take at least a couple of weeks to see a noticeable change, i'm going to give it a little bit. 

employment!

shaun got a job!!
and not just any job, it's an illustration job.


a science fiction illustration job.



a realistic, science fiction, illustration job.



a realistic, science fiction, illustration job in rexburg!!




at the moment, it's scheduled to end in december, but, still, it's a job!

and so it ends

this chapter in our lives is finally closed. that doesn't mean that we won't see issues pop up later because of it, because we certainly will. but, it's all over

sentencing for elizabeth's abuser was today. he had refused to have a psycho-sexual evaluation done, which basically tells the judge how much of a danger he is to the community. by refusing, the judge had to basically assume the worst. as i mentioned a little earlier, i spent 2 days combing journals, and the blog, and anything else i thought might be useful in figuring out how to explain to the judge what this has done to our lives, and will continue to do. i also had to figure out what money was lost due to missing work and babysitting because of things related to court.

the judge gave him 7 fixed years in jail, with an additional 13 indeterminate. he also ordered restitution of $970 for our lost wages, and a civil amount of $5000.

we feel kind of bad, because he will die in jail. the man is 82, and life in prison for those found guilty or even accused of child abuse is not easy.

end of the line

the last few days have been rough, and busy!

monday, we learned that sentencing was set for friday. the prosecutor wanted a victim impact statement, and a record of all expenses related to court. since the crime victims compensation program is reimbursing for mileage from counseling, i didn't add that. but, lost wages and babysitting costs just for court related things came to nearly $1000.

i spent 2 full days scouring through journals, and here, and going over the calendar with a fine tooth comb looking for everything. then i had to get it written down into a paper-like statement.

what they can't include is the $19,000 in lost tuition money from the classes that shaun failed due to emotional and mentally stress this has caused. or the money we lost after they repossessed the van (we had $2500 left on the loan.)

when the sentencing is complete, this ordeal will be over. that doesn't mean that everything will go back to what it was. we still have to do damage control, and will for the rest of our lives in some form or another.

summer prep

saturday, shaun started working on cleaning out a portion of the garage. he unburied the stroller, and found the handle to the bike trailer.

today, after learning that we had multiple appointments that overlapped this afternoon, i took the stroller outside, and hosed it off. i then pulled out the bike trailer (it converts to a stroller as well) and hosed it off too. now they are sitting in the sun in the backyard, drying.

we might have to employ one of them this afternoon. i hope they dry quickly!

work?

shaun unknowingly had a job interview this morning. he had a previous client get a hold of him on thursday or friday saying they had a potential job for him. they wanted him to come in monday morning so they could go over the specifics.

when he gets there, they go over the details, which i can't give you (because i didn't understand them myself!) it would be straight illustration work! they want realistic, simple, NOT graphic design! (the simplistic might be a little more difficult for him to manage, but he'll figure it out.)
then they tell him they have a couple more people they were "talking" to, mainly students. (the thing with students, is that they have classes and homework for said classes they have to do as well. shaun is pretty much open). just after noon, they called him back and said they wanted to do a trial run, whatever that means. what makes this even more interesting, is that when he got home from the interview he started working on one of the images they had said they wanted. so, when he goes back in, he's already going to have a head start on the project!

poor mama

in the last 9 days, i've had migraines for 6 of them. last saturday was the worst, it put me out for the whole day. yesterday, i caught it sooner, but it still put me out for about half of the day. i have to figure out what's causing these if i can.

and i'm finally going to do it, i'm going to call the doctor and go back on my meds.

saturday

i have come to dread saturdays.

saturday is our big clean day. we do some during the week, but the REALLY clean on saturday. that being said though, all we do is right with the kids about it. the entire day is one big fight about them not wanting to clean and us saying that it needs to be done whether they want to do it or not.

rewards don't make a difference in the fight, or the results.
threats don't make a difference in the fight or the results.
giving up and not caring doesn't change anything either. then i just end up mad because of the dirty house.

i hate saturdays.

tooth

today, i discovered that michael had cut one of his molars.

there was a reason that he was crabby and sick!!!

laundry

i have discovered that with my large capacity washer, laundry goes much faster when you can hang it out to dry.

when we were "forced" to move out of one of our homes, we were given the large capacity, he washer and dryer in exchange for taking a load of junk to the dump (story here). now, just because you can stuff the washer full, and still have everything come clean, that doesn't mean said load will fit in the dryer and get dry. i normally end up doing around 11 loads of clothing a week. and depending on the week, another 2-4 loads of towels and sheets (it depends on how many kids get sick).

the last 2 weeks, i've been able to use the clothesline for part of the laundry. yesterday would have been great, but i got a late start. today is supposed to be warm (although not quite as warm as yesterday), and i've condensed loads that i would normally split.

only 2 more loads to get through the washer, and i'm done with my regular laundry for the week!

slippery

this morning shannon took a new can of pam spray, and sprayed half of it all over my kitchen floor. 

needless to say, i was not happy. and i wasn't necessarily kind either. 

gross meals

on occasion, my children make some less than savory meals for themselves. 

this is elizabeth's. her's isn't too bad. fresh strawberry jam. she was trying to make a lunchable.

 however, this is shannon's. she put hers all together.

and of course, she didn't eat any of it.

seek and find!

 this was my view up the hill while driving down 2nd east on monday.

see if you can spot the temple.

here's a close up for you.

we had super strong winds. everything was hidden from view.

growing, slowly

michael had his 15 month check-up today. and as i expected, there was nothing to indicate that he was sick. the doctor wondered about allergies, but they wouldn't have caused a nearly 102 fever. and if it had been allergies that turned into an infection, he would have had the snotty nose FIRST, and the fever second. we figured it had been a virus.

he weighs a grand total of 18 lbs, 10 ounces. he weighed more at wic the other day, but that was before he was sick and not eating. but, he's nearly 31 inches tall!