we have some friends who are able to see things that most cannot, and some think is "quacky." in their sharing of that info, i was able to understand myself better.
there is an eastern belief in auras. there are 14 of them. basically, it's a more complex personality spectrum. i am a crystal, and shaun is a mental tan.
i was given the information that has been compiled to read through, and light bulbs starting blinking all over the place. nearly every major life experience and how it has affected me was explained. (and the connections kept being made for days...)
~why the gospel has always been instinctual for me. i have never doubted.
~why i was almost instantly able to recognize when people were not being "true"
~why socialization is a frequent problem for me.
~why i have to make sure that everyone else is ok.
~why when i get upset or need to work through things, i have to do it mainly alone
~why my parenting style is "give them the correct principles/tools, and let them govern themselves."
~why it's so extremely difficult for me to talk about my emotions
also, i learned that my aura fractures from trauma.
i have 4 main fractures. only 3 of which i will share, and 3 widening events.
1~ moving to kansas city as a teen.
2~ unshared
3~ miscarriage #2 ~ miscarriage #6
4~ elizabeths abuse ~ trial ~ jury duty
fracture 1 is completely healed.
fracture 3 was healed, and then miscarriage #6 (this last one), broke it open again.
fracture 4 had not been started, and then i was called for jury duty on a sexual abuse case...
although, fracture 3 had healed, it was reopened by the newest miscarriage. i am slowly starting to heal it though.
fracture 4 is causing the most problems right now. it happened over 6 years ago. however, i was so focused on making sure that everyone else was ok, that i never took the time to take care of me.
in counseling, we think that once everyone else was ok, and i was "able" to focus on me, the ptsd finally manifested. the ptsd needs to be addressed, and perhaps then, the fracture can be healed.
i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm excited to be able to be whole again.
