anxiety

my anxiety made a surprise visit on sunday. it's never any fun, but this one was worse.

i was walking down the the hall to get to sunday school at church, and i just couldn't do it. i stopped about halfway there, and just stood in the hall. shaun came back from taking the kids to their classes, and he got me to try going to class. i'm sitting there in class, and i can feel the panic welling up inside. i was able to tamp it down and thought i'd gotten a hold of it. it reared it's ugly head a little later in the form of nausea. i just about tossed michael at shaun and got out.
i went to the bathroom, but there were people in there. i went to the other bathroom, but there were people in there as well. i ambled my back in the direction of class, but couldn't get myself to go back in.
shaun came out a few minutes later, and took me and michael home.

i wish i knew what caused it, and i wish i knew how to avoid it happening again.

normal chaos

the normal chaos has taken over my life for the moment. that and i've been struggling with being in the dumps a little bit.